New invention idea: vibrating tampons
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize