if only i could text you this smell
she looked like the before picture.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
