She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
