i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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