omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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