I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
