I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
