toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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