i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
