She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
