her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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