You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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