I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
