Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
operation harelip BJ is a go
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
