How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
