Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He felt like a one man threesome
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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