He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
