Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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