lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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