i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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