she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
