you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I take back everything I said about communal showers
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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