R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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