He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
