i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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