I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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