Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
