I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We need to get me chipped asap
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
