So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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