I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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