you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
