i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it glows. i had to have it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
