Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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