I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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