I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
