it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
