i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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