I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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