check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
