In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize