I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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