then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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