I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
