Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
