sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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