@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
