Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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