I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I will pee on everything he values.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
