Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
