All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
