Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
