.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize