With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
