shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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