Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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