He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
