well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
