Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Pooping to opera.
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