Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Randomize
