am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
